Posted: 11 December, 2014 by Web Guy Brett

Aussie Man Writes Epic Note To Neighbour About Loud Sex

Tags: Bondi, Sydney, Loud Sex

It would appear sending a letter to your neighbour is the new "thing".

For a young couple in the Sydney suburb of Bondi, it would appear that they are "living the life" the fullest... and loudest.

The couple appears to love having numerous gatherings complete with lots of loud, drunken conversations.  Oh, and then there is the noisy sex.

Here's what one of their neighbours stuck on their front door.

This is pretty EPIC!

The note reads:


Firstly I would just like to congratulate you.

I would like to congratulate you on the lustrous social life you seem to have been living since you have moved in.  It seems as though you have many friends (many of whom are rather good looking), and I hope being the hub of such a large social circle provides your life with fulfillment.

I can deal with the hordes of alcohol fuelled guests, coming and going at all hours (in) the morning and night...

I can deal with intoxicated foreigners screaming "I LOVE BONDI!" in broken English as I eat dinner with my family...

I can handle your annoying, and slightly western suburbs sounding, voice as you seem to proclaim your love for you hordes of booze filled guests...

I can even handle the occasional stray cigarette butt that somehow finds its way floating down onto my balcony.  I would like to remind you that ash trays have been around since 1825 and are available to purchase from most good retail outlets.  I can always point you in the direction of 'Bondi convenience', located at 146 Bondi road, Bondi.

But, dear occupant of apartment 12, what I cannot stand is what seems to happen of a Saturday night between the hours of 2-3am.

Let me give you a play by play.  As I am asleep, dreaming of playing the perfect game of golf, I near the 13th hole, when suddenly I am awoken by what I can only describe as sounding like a Rhinoceros attempting to demolish a wall, with a jackhammer, whilst high on meth... and cocaine.

This primeval grunting and banging continues to get louder, to which I can only assume the rhinoceros has almost finished demolishing the house, OR the aptly named "NICK, OH NICK" is about to ejaculate...

I do not know who "NICK!" is, or how much weighs, I can only assume it is a lot due to the fact that on several occasions my bedroom slight(ly) begins to shake.

Luky for me "NICK" doesn't appear to last long, and for that I am thankful.  I do not wish to pry in on your sex life, apartment 12, however, I do ask that before you mount nick (or the rhino) I suggest you bolt the bed to the floor as so the rest of the beautiful residents here do not have to listen to your VERY loud, VERY short yet VERY annoying love making sessions.

I hope you don't take this letter in distaste, more of a request for some common courtesy to the other residents. - THANKYOU

Tags: Bondi, Sydney, Loud Sex

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