Note: The following article is meant in fun and good humour, and in no way accurately represents the named people. Any similarities are purely coincidental.
What is really in a name?
From countless hours of research, interviews, bar graphs, a couple of pie charts and a little bit of jungle juice during the late nights, we present what the world's top 34 names really mean.
Rachael - Can’t hold her drink and regularly ends up asleep in the toilets.
Chloe - Known to be a bit too fond of the shifting and drifting.
Sarah - Once headbutted a wall trying to do her own form of pilates.
Kylie - Likes to sneak tiny bottles of spirits into clubs in her knickers for the thrill cos she's a bit of a rebel.
Amy - Once passed out mid-sex resulting in mass panic from her partner.
Tara - Has been kicked out of her local pub several times, still doesn’t know what for.
Louise/Louisa - Loves a good mass, will happily go seven days a week.
Joanne/Joanna - Once woke up with a bruised hand after attacking someone who stole her vodka.
Sophie/Sophia - Hasn’t been spooned by anyone that isn’t her dog in three years.
Olivia - Once convinced her boyfriend to use a sandwich bag in subsitute for something safer.
Fiona - Regularly puts out in the back of her boyfriends car after a few too many drinks.
Claire - Cries when her boyfriend of three weeks hasn’t text back within 17 minutes.
Laura - Has accidently been involved in a foursome but she doesn’t quite know how.
Emily - Wins mens affections by insulting them so much they become visably upset and need to be comforted.
Jessica - Always borrows money she doesn't have, never has credit, always scabs lifts but is still the best dressed usually in your clothes.
Katie - Was born to be a mother. Will feed you her home baked treats every breathing minute whilst filling you with motherly advice on life.
Kelly/Kellie - Makes you feel so much better about your life as hers is in a desperate state.
Chris - sleeps with girls and never calls after, ever.
Michael - has been known to steal things from girls houses and give out a fake number.
Sean - extremely scabby. Asks girls to split on the first date always.
Joe - uses too many emojis in texts and is very flaky.
William/Will - weighs less than most girls and gives them a complex about their bodies as a result.
James - gets really into a conversation after more than 4 beers which leads to him spitting all over you.
Robert - mean to animals, and was once known to throw a pillow at a friends cat.
Shane - takes up the whole bed.
Thomas - makes weird noises when he gets really excited.
Richard - lies about his age and smokes too much.
Kevin - Very scabby. Once stole a silver fork from his friends house and won’t give it back even though it’s an heirloom.
Cooper – Gets too drunk at parties and needs to be taken care of.
Tony - always wants to get frisky in very strange places, then gets moody if you don’t give in.
Paul - poor hygiene and rarely changes his underwear.
David – freaks out once he meets your parents and dumps you immediately without reason.
Ethan – has a five date rule and wants his girlfriend to go to mass (even though he doesn’t go himself).
Alex - eats all the food in your house and never replaces it.
Along with a new year, comes a bunch of new baby names for us to look over.
We recently revealed the top 10 sexiest men’s names in Australia and now the 10 women’s names that get us hot under the collar have been released…
Did Your Name Make Santa’s List?