Posted: 1 December, 2014 by Web Guy Brett

The Real Meaning Behind Your Name

Tags: Names, Meaning, Name Meaning

Note: The following article is meant in fun and good humour, and in no way accurately represents the named people.  Any similarities are purely coincidental.

What is really in a name?

From countless hours of research, interviews, bar graphs, a couple of pie charts and a little bit of jungle juice during the late nights, we present what the world's top 34 names really mean.


Rachael - Can’t hold her drink and regularly ends up asleep in the toilets.

Chloe - Known to be a bit too fond of the shifting and drifting.

Sarah - Once headbutted a wall trying to do her own form of pilates.

Kylie - Likes to sneak tiny bottles of spirits into clubs in her knickers for the thrill cos she's a bit of a rebel.

Amy - Once passed out mid-sex resulting in mass panic from her partner.

Tara - Has been kicked out of her local pub several times, still doesn’t know what for.

Louise/Louisa - Loves a good mass, will happily go seven days a week.

Joanne/Joanna - Once woke up with a bruised hand after attacking someone who stole her vodka.

Sophie/Sophia - Hasn’t been spooned by anyone that isn’t her dog in three years.

Olivia - Once convinced her boyfriend to use a sandwich bag in subsitute for something safer.

Fiona - Regularly puts out in the back of her boyfriends car after a few too many drinks.

Claire - Cries when her boyfriend of three weeks hasn’t text back within 17 minutes.

Laura - Has accidently been involved in a foursome but she doesn’t quite know how.

Emily - Wins mens affections by insulting them so much they become visably upset and need to be comforted.

Jessica - Always borrows money she doesn't have, never has credit, always scabs lifts but is still the best dressed usually in your clothes.

Katie - Was born to be a mother. Will feed you her home baked treats every breathing minute whilst filling you with motherly advice on life.

Kelly/Kellie - Makes you feel so much better about your life as hers is in a desperate state.


Chris - sleeps with girls and never calls after, ever. 

Michael - has been known to steal things from girls houses and give out a fake number. 

Sean - extremely scabby. Asks girls to split on the first date always.

Joe - uses too many emojis in texts and is very flaky. 

William/Will - weighs less than most girls and gives them a complex about their bodies as a result. 

James - gets really into a conversation after more than 4 beers which leads to him spitting all over you.

Robert - mean to animals, and was once known to throw a pillow at a friends cat. 

Shane - takes up the whole bed.

Thomas - makes weird noises when he gets really excited.

Richard - lies about his age and smokes too much. 

Kevin - Very scabby. Once stole a silver fork from his friends house and won’t give it back even though it’s an heirloom. 

Cooper – Gets too drunk at parties and needs to be taken care of. 

Tony - always wants to get frisky in very strange places, then gets moody if you don’t give in. 

Paul - poor hygiene and rarely changes his underwear. 

David – freaks out once he meets your parents and dumps you immediately without reason. 

Ethan – has a five date rule and wants his girlfriend to go to mass (even though he doesn’t go himself).

Alex - eats all the food in your house and never replaces it. 

Also See

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Tags: Names, Meaning, Name Meaning

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