Posted: 2 March, 2015 by Tinderella

IS THIS NORMAL? 56 Thoughts I Had On My First Tinder Date

Tags: Tinder, Relationships

After weeks of swiping recklessly, nightly banter and fielding far too many lewd suggestions, this weekend I finally summoned the courage to go on a Tinder date.

For two hours prior I wrote down every thought and question that passed through my mind.

  1. What the hell am I doing? 
  2. I’m totally gonna do this. I can do this. 
  3. Why did I say yes? 
  4. If I do it slowly it’s totally okay to drink while I get ready. 
  5. I hate shaving my legs. 
  6. Nothing says “hot” more than a girl with a band aid on her ankle and blood streaming from her knee.
  7. Should I wear nice underwear?
  8. Am I being overly optimistic or just well-prepared? 
  9. Hold on, I’m a strong independent woman; I can wear whatever slutty lingerie I damn well please.
  10. This moisturiser smells so good. I really should moisturise more often. 
  11. I’m pretty sure this guy is gonna be the one for me. 
  12. Ugh. This dress is hideous! Why did I buy it? 
  13. I’ll just go casual and then I can pretend I dressed like this all day. 
  14. Ugh, I should do my laundry more often. 
  15. If we get married, laundry is his job.
  16.  This would look way better with Spanx. I’m totally not wearing Spanx.
  17. Should I take all the soft toys off my bed? 
  18. Heels or flats? 
  19. God I hope he’s taller than me. 
  20. Should I have asked him how tall he is?
  21. I hope we don’t do much walking, these will kill me.
  22. How much can I drink beforehand without it being obvious?
  23. Is he drinking right now? I hope so.
  24. Will he notice my photos are two years old?
  25. Why did I get a fringe? Guys really don’t even like fringes. I mean, I don’t care. But still.  
  26. Am I nervous or hungry? My stomach feels weird. 
  27. Do you reckon we’ll get proper food?  We should have discussed this. 
  28. Ugh, do I have to get a salad?
  29. I’m totally getting a steak. 
  30. Should I text him and tell him I don’t have a thigh gap? 
  31. I should just cancel right now.
  32. You know, it’s been ages since I watched Gossip Girl season one. Could totally do that instead. 
  33. He did seem nice though. And hot. 
  34. Maybe I should just go. This could be the one.
  35. I could totally wear that wedding dress in the window that I saw on the weekend.
  36. We'll have to lie about how we met. 
  37. Hang on, is this safe? 
  38. Okay, I’m totally getting a single and non-judgmental friend to call me one hour in.
  39. If I say lemonade, she’s coming to rescue me. Good. 
  40. What if we're actually drinking lemonade and I mention it and then she comes but it's actually going really well and ruin it? Ugh. Maybe a different safe word. 
  41. Why am I so irrationally afraid of intimacy and commitment? 
  42. Lipstick or gloss? 
  43. Why doesn’t red lipstick make me look like Taylor Swift?
  44. Why AREN’T I Taylor Swift? 
  45. Bank balance says $128.76 ‘til payday… I hope he says “no” when I offer to split the bill. 
  46. Ugh. This lipstick won’t come off!
  47. Maybe I should have just finish the bottle before I go. 
  48. Why on earth didn’t I put a more realistic photo on my profile.
  49. Oh god, what if he doesn’t recognise me?
  50. What if he leaves when he sees me? 
  51. Calm yourself lady, this is gonna be fun. 
  52. I wonder if he’s told his friends about me. I hope he said nice things. 
  53. Should I get the cabbie to drive around the block once more? 
  54. God I need a pedicure. I hope he doesn’t notice.  
  55. If he judges me for my chipped toes he is a dick and doesn’t deserve me. Screw him!
  56. Oh god, is that him?

Writer's note: We met, he was taller than me and he paid for my steak. I didn't get too drunk and while I really didn't need to waste my time shaving my legs, we're actually seeing each other next weekend. I've decided to call our firstborn child Riley. 

Tags: Tinder, Relationships

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