Posted: 3 October, 2014 by Carly Portch

A Guide To Surviving Life Post-Bachelor

Tags: The Bachelor

So last night on The Bachelor we saw Sam leave with Blake’s heart and a big diamond ring.

Good for her... or was it?

BUT what about the rest of us?!

If you are like me and stared at the telly screen until every last sponsor was mentioned, waiting for Osher to reappear and declare...

Then unlike Noah he didn’t come through with the goods.

So ladies and men (especially boyfriends who pretended to hate it), here we are in a world that now doesn’t revolve around who gets a share in the order from Roses Only (one of the sponsors I paid attention).

So here are tips for surviving life until next season...


Stay away from everything that reminds you of life when The Bachelor was a huge part of yours. So street pies are a HUGE no no! The only thing worse than spilling mince down the front of your top in public is doing it while you are crying (it's just too soon).


Turn that group chat (that you and all your friends were involved in detailing and discussing everything on The Bachelor with all your witty commentary thrown in) into a support group. Use that sympathy you once directed towards Louise when she was rejected, to support each other.


If you are single, do not go on a date this weekend because that guy from your office asked you and you finally gave in because you now believe in love again after seeing Sam’s happy ending. Unless the date is on an African plain with you in a ball gown then decline, because let's be honest, we’ve come too far at this point to expect anything less.


Don’t click any links today about The Bachelor because we have invested too much emotion into wanting this for Blake and Sam to deal with this emotional rollercoaster.


So you clicked the link... I'll be honest so did I but like any recovering addict, you may fall off the bandwagon from time to time so please refer to point two.

If that still doesn’t work, take your mind off things by going skydiving... oh wait...

Maybe try sitting in a picturesque location in full hair and make up... arrr...


To help keep your mind off things how about candlemaking?

Thanks Bachie... I just realised I don’t know how to exist in a world without you!

Just keep calm and play episodes over and over till your heart's content.

This article first appeared on Gnarly Carly, and is republished with permission.

Tags: The Bachelor

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